Bake Sale – Awkward Spaceship


It looks like we’re going to have quite the turnout for the bake sale this year. What did you bring, Kathy? Well, they were so popular last year, I just made my triple fudge brownies again. Triple fudge? Yum, yum and yum. (laughter) What did you bring, Alice? These are my grandma’s famous sugar cookies. Ooh, they look good. That’s cause they are good! (laughter) What did you bring, Edmund? I made the Netherpastry of Al Desh Ra – the donut that will end the world. But can anyone ever truly make a confection of such concentrated evil? Nay, you can only call it into this plane of existence from the dark realm of
shadows where it has slumbered for all eternity. It’s dough is made from flour milled between the skulls of men executed for crimes that thieves and murderers
alike forsake as ghastly and unforgivable. It’s cooked in the boiling fat of animals that have been fed their own young and been branded with the marks of elder gods long-feared since the very dawn of time. The icing is a congealed mass of sorrow and
despair made viscous with the saccharine discharge
of sugarcane plants watered with the blood of the damned. It…also has sprinkles. When the Netherpastry of Al Desh Ra has been
consumed, all that has begun will end and the symphony of this reality will sound
only with the screams of men as their flesh is
stripped bare and their souls are torn asunder. I just made my triple fudge brownies again. Triple fudge? Yum, yum and yum. (laughter) Are there any orphan tears in this? No. Aw, crap.

43 comments

Id like to see one where a science major, an arts major, an English major, and someone who is undecided all get locked a room together!

Nope, it's a park district building. That's where people always seemed to throw bake sales when I was a kid (that or a school), so we set it a park district building. I can see how it looks like a bathroom though. 🙂

Crimes thieves and murderers alike forsake as ghastly and unforgivable… so piracy?
Of course I jest. At first I thought the two women were going to argue about whose delicious treat was better until it broke out into a fist fight, but I was wrong, and delighted to be so. But I wonder, did he mill the flower himself or buy it off the internet?

If he got it off the internet, he probably bought it from Amazon. Those guys sell everything.

It's a challenging recipe that's only whispered through the cracked lips of pastry chefs that have stared into the very heart of madness

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