Brewstew – School Lunch


Alright, school lunch Nothing better than lunch time
to break up the school day Gives you a nice litte break
from learning about social studies Or.. erosion Goddamn isosceles triangles,
I don’t know You sit there with your asshole friends,
everybody’s showing off their sweet lunch boxes I got Angry Beavers I got The Herculoids I got this sweet-ass Tootie lunch box You know, from The Facts of Life Anybody? God damn it, am I the only one that watches
TV Land in this bitch, or what And you’d sit there
and you’d eat your stupid little lunch Your peanut butter and jelly,
a fruit roll-up piss-warm kool-aid that you kept in your
Jefferson’s thermos My friend Michael would always have
the shittiest food in his lunch That he’d try to auction off,
trade away to some poor bastard “I’ll trade you this dirty rhubarb
for your fruit roll-up” “Nobody wants your stupid-ass rhubarb,
Michael, Jesus Christ!” “It’s not my fault your mom packs
your lunch like we’re on the Great Depression” Of course we could always buy
a school lunch from our manly-ass lunch ladies Lunch ladies, that look like they bounce
nightclubs on the side The got like stubble and dirt mustaches That would any thirteen-year-old boy
going through puberty pretty jealous (in low raucous voice):
“A dollar and fourty, please. Thank you” Yeah, I went to public school So I didn’t get any of those
fancy-pants private school lunches All you rich kids had
your fucking filet mignon and your caviar No, hell no! Fucking hot ham and cheese,
in a bag, condensation on the inside Nice and soggy,
tastes like it’s been sitting in a hot car on a summer day for a few hours And that’s your lunch, that’s what
we were having for lunch on mondays Now the shit’s disgusting,
you fucking pack on Mondays Now, Tuesdays, they were okay
Tuesday was burrito day It tasted pretty good, but you pay the price
right about time the gym class kicks in Your stomach is all like: *Blurrgulhug* *blows the whistle* “What’s the matter our there,
why are you playing the kickball?” – There’s a buttload of shit in my pants
– Alright, get a hall pass, fucking Tuesdays Then Wednesdays,
that was mac and cheese with a side of peas Why peas, I don’t know,
nobody ate that shit Maybe because it rhymes and it sounded nice
I don’t know. Mac N’ Cheese N’ Peas Fucking Licorice N’ Tuna Fish Spicy Pickles N’ A Goddamn Jar of Nickels Delicious And then there was Thursdays Thursdays were the best days
when it came to school lunch Because Thursday was pizza day And you were a dumbass that accidentally
packed a lunch on pizza day Well, get ready to be made fun of
for the rest of your life Oh, you packed on pizza day?
Do you know what you look like? A person that makes shitty decisions! Now get away from me
before you fuck up my life! The pizza was so damn good Even today, as an adult I’d be like sitting in traffic somewhere
and I’d just think about that pizza, like God damn, that was a good-ass pizza! It was like the most precious thing that
you could have when you were nine-years-old It was valuable, you could trade
anything you wanted for it! I’ve seen a kid shove a dime up his nose
and then cough it out on the table All for an extra piece of pizza Like dude,you gonna give yourself
sepsis for Christ’s sake All for a bag of Tony’s pizza And no matter what day it was,
lunch time would always end the same way for the last 10 minutes of lunch
the man-ladies would turn off the lights Which meant everybody
had to shut the fuck up You are caught talking? One of these
linebacker women would make you stand up And standing up was a bad thing! I don’t know,
we just didn’t want to stand up, I guess Sometimes the lunch ladies would appoint
a fellow classmate to be their little deputy And walk around,
make sure you weren’t talking You’d always have that one asshole,
who’d let all that power go to his head – Stand up, you’re talking!
– Fuck you, Michael, I’m not standing up! “We’re supposed to be on the same team,
you goddamn traitor!” “Well, you didn’t trade your goddamn fruit
roll-up to me, so stand up!” I swear to God, Michael, I’m gonna
Stone Cold Stunner you as soon as we leave here “I am the Law!” So you just stand there, have everybody
blame you until it was time to leave “Ah, mah, he looks like such an idiot!” “Look at him standing up and everybody
else is sitting down, what a stupid idiot!” Then your teacher would come
and you would go off That was it Michael would get Stone Cold Stunner
for his bullshit shenaningans And everything was right in the world! Give me a Hell Yeah http://www.brewstew.com/ Special thanks to:
Geno1906 Special thanks to:
Ryan Earles Special thanks to:
Steven Meekel Thanks for watching this shit

100 comments

Bruh in like 2016 2015 we would get milk in bags some times they would put in cartons when we had the cartons there was regular and chocolate and once every few months they would have strawberry milk it was horrible

Damn a sad life micheals living in i mean let’s backtrack shitty bike a shitty lunch a shitty dad ( aka his FS )

Sadly, you don't even get pre made meals at private schools, you have to pack your own lunches. Hello pb and j, goodbye hot and ready cheesy ham sandwich

My friend in 8th grade would steal the pizza and give it to everybody on my table he’s a good homie

My absolute favorite gems in Brewstew's videos are the references to TV Land and Fraiser. I have never met another person who grew up watching those kinds of shows! Hilarious. <3

My school:
Monday:pack
Tuesday: pack
Wednesday: no brag but it’s fucking… PIZZA!
Thursday: pack
Friday: this stupid kids essentials that you buy idk what they are but yea

For us Friday is pizza and so basically
Monday pack
Tuesday pack
Wednesday pack
Thursday pack
Friday pack
Because HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE PIZZA TASTE BAD?!?

My school wasn't a payed private school there was no tuition, but you did have to apply to get in so we ate pretty good.

Monday has hot ham and cheese
Tuesday has burritos
Wednesday has max n cheese n peas
Thursday has pizza
What does Friday have?

(Hopefully I didn’t miss it cause I’m an idiot)

This was the very first video I watched from you. I don’t remember how I found it, but I think it had something to do with a music video. Anyway, this will forever be my favorite video from you. Thank you for making my day!

At our public school we had
Backyard Burger-Monday
Subway-Tuesday
Hot dogs-Wednesday
Wendy’s-Thursday
Dominos-Friday

where i come from everyday is pizza day and somehow every lunch at my school is good except for this calzone thing which is burnt

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