Key & Peele – Black Ice


[dramatic music] – GOOD EVENING, ST. PAUL. IT’S YOUR CITY NEWS AT 5:00.
I’M JAMIE THRONEBURG. – AND I’M MARCY WHITCHURCH. WINTER WEATHER ADVISORIES
ARE IN EFFECT ACROSS CENTRAL MINNESOTA
TONIGHT. WITH MORE ON THAT,
WEATHERMAN ISAAC LABUDA. ISAAC. – THANKS, MARCY. A MAJOR SYSTEM
IS ZIPPING ACROSS THE REGION. OUTSIDE TEMP RIGHT NOW,
8 DEGREES, BUT IT FEELS LIKE 20 BELOW. JAMIE. – WELL, STAY OFF THE ROADS
IF YOU CAN, FOLKS. LOTS OF REPORTS
OF BLACK ICE. – OOH, YOU GOT TO WATCH OUT
FOR THAT DANGEROUS BLACK ICE. IT’S TRANSPARENT AND SNEAKY.
HARD TO SEE BLACK ICE. – THAT’S RIGHT, MARCY. KEEP YOUR LOVED ONES SAFE
AND WARN THEM TO STAY OFF THE STREET
TONIGHT BECAUSE OF MENACING,
LIFE-ROBBING BLACK, BLACK ICE. – ISAAC. – WE HAVE CHANNEL 17’S
FIELD REPORTER, DARREN HEPNER, WITH MORE. DARREN? – YEAH… I’M STANDING OUT HERE
AT HISTORIC RAMSEY HILL, WHERE THERE ARE CURRENTLY
NO CARS ON THE STREET DUE TO, UH… HAZARDOUS
DRIVING CONDITIONS. – DARREN, ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT BLACK ICE? – THAT’S RIGHT. – OOH, JEEZ,
IT’S FRIGHTENING JUST TO EVEN SAY
“BLACK ICE.” – IT’S SCARY, TRICKY,
RUTHLESS STUFF, THAT BLACK ICE. A PERFECTLY SAFE NEIGHBORHOOD
CAN BE SUDDENLY TERRORIZED BY THE APPEARANCE
OF BLACK ICE. – WELL, ONE MUST
KEEP IN MIND THAT, JUST BECAUSE BLACK ICE
LOOKS DIFFERENT THAN WHITE ICE, IT DOESN’T MAKE IT
ANY MORE DANGEROUS. ALSO, ONE MUST REMEMBER HOW HARD IT IS
FOR BLACK ICE TO SURVIVE, WHAT WITH THE AUTHORITIES
TRYING TO DESTROY IT WITH THE SNOW PLOWS
AND SALT TRUCKS, BUT BLACK ICE PERSEVERES. – UH-HUH, THAT’S RIGHT.
THAT’S RIGHT. AND AS YOU CAN SEE
RIGHT NOW, THE CITY
IS BEING CONTROLLED BY LOTS
OF OPPRESSIVE WHITE SNOW, MAKING IT HARD
FOR ALL PEOPLE TO ADVANCE. AND WE DON’T HEAR
MUCH “NEWS” ABOUT THAT, NOW, DO WE? – NO, WE DO NOT! – WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
BROTHER DARREN. – BUT LET’S BE HONEST–
BLACK ICE IS THE REAL MENACE. LAST NIGHT I WAS IN
A PERFECTLY SAFE NEIGHBORHOOD, WALKING AWAY
FROM AN A.T.M. MACHINE, WHEN BLACK ICE
JUST SNUCK UP ON ME AND PRACTICALLY ROBBED ME
OF MY BALANCE. – OUCH. THAT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE
SOMETHING BLACK ICE WOULD DO. – WELL, I JUST HOPE THAT FOLKS
WATCH OUT SO THE WHITE SNOW DOESN’T BLIND THEM
AND KEEP THEM FROM SEEING WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON. – ALL I’M SAYING
IS I CAN’T THINK OF A SINGLE CHRISTMAS SONG
ABOUT BLACK ICE. LOTS OF CHEERFUL, UPLIFTING
SONGS ABOUT SNOW, SO… – [laughs]
WELL… FOR THE RECORD, BLACK ICE
NEVER ASKED TO BE OUT HERE. – NO, IT DID NOT! – IT’S A PRODUCT
OF THE ENVIRONMENT. – OOH, HALLELUJAH! – IN FACT, BLACK ICE
DIDN’T LAND ON THE ROAD. THE ROAD
LANDED ON BLACK ICE! – WHOO! AMEN! – OKAY. NEXT UP, WHY IS AMERICA
BEING RUINED BY BLACK PEOPLE? [tense music]

100 comments

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I can answer the last question for the black demographic:
1. Largest single motherhood rate.
2. Largest incarceration rate for violent crimes.
3. Largest high school dropout rate.
4. Largest support for Democratic policies.
5. Largest number unemployed and on welfare.

That reporter is the epitome of a Becky馃馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀

2:21

The "well I" voice that was reminiscent of the sound you make while gargling during an argument like it was drowning in white snow melt, that came from out of nowhere…..just like black ice

:46 is pretty much the right response given the situation but it has me 馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶馃槶

This popped up in my recommendations again and it's still laugh out loud. The sneaky black ice gad a gold tooth.馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃ぃ馃ぃ馃槄馃槄馃槄

Funny how non color be erasing the race card so they can say why you gotta bring up the race card… Erased History, anyone????

I thought, what was the name of that American rapper, is he somehow related to this? Then I remembered his name is not Black Ice but Ice Cube.

I hope everyone doesnt forget that 95% of blacks that you actually meet out there in the real world are very unlikr these two blacks.

I hope everyone doesnt forget.

Wait a minute they were talking about black people this entire time? I never would have seen that coming.

Not seeing that coming

Nat seeing that coming

Nat zeeing that coming

Nazi that coming

I know you guys are slow but this skit is intentionally making 鈥渂lack ice鈥 sound like 鈥渂lack guys鈥. 0:37 Listen to her inflection and tempo which she does intentionally to make it sound like 鈥渂lack guys鈥.

There is a difference where she first says 鈥渂lack ice鈥 normally at 0:33. Then at 0:37 she purposely says it like 鈥渂lack guys鈥. Y鈥檃ll a bit slow…

@ 0:54 Its amazing how one simple word can express soo many things. Just the way he said it made me laugh, I can take a good guess of what he was thinking in his head at that moment- (What the fuck did I just hear, are they for real?! Yeaaaaaaaaaahhh,,, I see how it is….)

The problem with America today is that we forgot how to laugh TOGETHER and appreciate humor. Everything is so damn decisive. We ALL need to stand TOGETHER and see our real enemies and that is worldwide corruption I am writing this 10- 13- 19. Thank you both, men. Greg n Carolyn Chaney in Oriental NC

馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ馃檶馃徔馃檶馃徔馃檶馃徔馃檶馃徔馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ馃槀馃ぃ馃槀

How will self driving cars deal with black ice? That's the real question. Be having self driving 18 wheelers rolling over all the road

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